rwhen I was in second year of highschool, I once ran from my house early in the morning, without even taking a bath, and skip school, because I didn't finish the homework my homeroom teacher gave us which due that day. she was a very strict teacher, and she likes to judge each student, and she looked down on me because I usually write things on my book during her class, instead of looking to the front where she stand and gives lecture. School was hard for me that year because I didn't actually want to get in Science class, I like social studies more. But since I got to the so-called international class (with top 6 rank from the whole batch) when I entered highschool, they didn't let me choose social class, because there's no billingual program for social class. They said it's better off for me to choose science in high school, and then just switch to social in College, because science students are usually better than social (yeah those old school stereotype, I don't like it either). I then agreed, but only because none of my friends choose social class.
So there goes my second year as a science student. I study everything half-heartedly, but twice or even four times the hardwork than other students. I got afterclass course at school, and still go to private lessons on the evening, different subjects for each day of the week, and not to mention I had english course as well.
That teacher taught us Biology. I don't like her as much as she detests me. For me all of the lessons coming out from her mouth was just crap, that I'd get better understandings at my private course. She always gave note-taking homework, like twice every week. And for her, quantity matters. So every students in my class just make the notes in details, up until the level that they handwritingly copied the textbook. And don't forget about pictures too, biology book was always full of pictures. And yes, we also need to copy it to our notebook.
That was the homework I failed to finish that day. I was so tired at night that I went to bed earlier, but I couldn't get up at midnight to do the homework like I always did. I woke up at five, and I need to go to school at 6. So there's no time to finish that homework. I sneaked outside my house and start walking. I brought my phone and some money. First I started walking around my neighborhood, but it was still very dark at dawn. There are still packs of wild dogs on the road that keep barking at me. I turned back, and walk up, toward a mental institution near my old elementary school. I arrived like at 6.30 there. There was barely no one. The guard at the gate looked at me strangely, why would a teenage girl, still wearing t shirt and short pants went here in the morning, not getting ready for school. I remembered one of my counselling teacher at middle school once said, it's worth once in a while to go to a mental hospital, to look at people there, that they are actually no different from us. So that's why I went there. But it's still morning, no patients nor doctors on the corridor. I turned left to a building that looks like clinic. I wait there, and ask the man in the front desk if I can have a counselling schedule with their psychologist. I knew back at that time I need someone to talk, not specifically about my school problems, maybe just about a teenager's anxiety. But he said the psychiatrist isn't here at that time. I have to wait till around 9 or 10 to meet her. But no, I don't want to wait that long. That man started questioning me about everything, where I live, where I go to school, why I was there. He looked at me with funny expression. I was nearly cried because I went there to seek help but that person made fun of me. I hate it because everyone, especially adults, can't just mind their own business. Why did they want to know about anything while I don't want to talk to them? You know, those silly teenagers insecurity and hatred towards adult. I can't stand it anymore, so then I went outside and left the mental hospital. Right, I failed my mission there. I will never get the helps I needed. So then, I took a public transportation and went pretty far from my neighborhood. I got off in front of an internet cafe. Where else can you go in the morning to spend time without paying much money other than an internet cafe? I was already addicted to social media back then. Still, people there gave me strange look. The admin, the college students that was also there, everyone that walked pass my cubicle would look at me and have that curious eyes. What's she doing here? I once thought that, if I smell bad since I haven't taken shower that morning, but no I smelled normal, only that I still have pillow face on. Whatever, I speak to myself, why can't I be here? I have rights to do anything I want as long I have money to pay the rent. I tried to endure it until 11am there. I turn off airplane mode on my phone. Looks like there's been texts from my best friend asking why I wasn't in school, and the teacher asked about me, but luckily she said my mum called and said I was sick, although truth is my mum was also looking for me and asked my other friends if they have any idea where I went. Several calls from my parents. I ignored them all. I got pretty tired, and my stomach was empty because I haven't got breakfast and it was nearly lunch time. That's when I finally decided to return home. I paid the bills and got back on a public vehicle. As I remembered everyone in my house already left to work and school. There was only the maid that opened the door for me. I texted mum saying I got back home. She was glad and asked if I ate something already or not. There goes the rest of that day, I spent it at home doing other homework for next day.
Everytime my family remember about this event, they will still jokingly teased me that I went to a mental hospital. Instead of worrying why their daughter need to go there and what's troubling her.
I onced ran away from home too, in elementary school. But that's another story.
Tidak ada komentar:
Posting Komentar